I have been happily married to the Peacefulwife for almost 18 years, but in the last couple of years our marriage has gone from good to great. I hope to provide some male insight into what it is like to be a respected husband. I hope to be able to explain what a change I have seen in my wife and how our marriage has blossomed.
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The Respected Husband 
blendedfamaffair
05/22/2012
I just love your articles
dianewilkie
06/08/2012
Dear Mr Cassidy,
I have found your site to be wholesome and much needed! I am therefore nominating you for the versatile blogger award. For more details please see the versatile blogger award.wordpress.com website. Thanks.
Todd Fitchette
01/29/2013
Sir
I just came across your blog. I first stumbled across your wife’s blog and find her insights useful. I’m even more pleased to find your blog and to have the masculine perspective on relationships, married, etc.
Mine has not been the storybook life, but nevertheless, it’s one I have certainly learned from and hope to help others learn from as well. I look forward to reading your blog.
Cristie
03/10/2013
Thank you both for these blogs 🙂
Cassandra
04/20/2013
I read your blog and your wife’s blog. You both are sharing God’s plan for marriages in such an eye-opening, wonderful way. Thank you for sharing your testimony.
ffa68
08/24/2013
This blog, and your wife’s blog, are amazing. But, sir, if I may: how does one e-mail you about specific questions for you that you may not have covered yet (but might)? Thanks.
respectedhusband
08/27/2013
Thanks for your support of the blogs. I do not get into comments and discussions much on my blog and I also do not try to delve into too much counseling. If you would like to shoot a specific question or topic for me to consider you can email me at hopalong9119@hotmail.com. Thanks.
Ed
08/26/2013
I need some prayer and counsel. I have read the “Love and Respect” book and feel so strongly that indeed, my wife’s lack of respect has contributed significantly to the problems in our marriage. I read your wife’s blog and my heart aches for that as well. However, in the “crazy train” cycle, I get so angry when I feel disrespected, and react unloving. My wife tells me that she is so sick of hearing about her disrespect. It is so hard to just love her, though I know that is what I am supposed to do, but most of the time I feel so defeated. Any suggestions?
respectedhusband
08/27/2013
My wife and I have talked about this many times and we wonder if it is not a bad thing for a husband to read her blog. In the same way that your wife’s disrespect has caused you to have unloving feelings, I believe that your unloving feelings can cause her to treat you with disrespect. Chances are pretty strong that her intentions are not to intentionally disrespect you. It is just that she doesn’t realize that what she is doing is disrespectful. Evaluate yourself and make sure your expectations for being respected are just and not to be a dominating husband. I am not saying that this is you, but we have had a large number of men who have come to us just like you and when we hear from their wives it appears the husband is dominantly controlling their marriage and they feel enslaved. I can only encourage you to work on the marriage with a servant’s heart and drop any expectations you have for how she treats you. Thanks for your comment.
Aaron-Hintz
11/18/2013
I’m sorry to hear about your struggle Ed, I can relate to a good degree—especially 12 years ago before my own marriage started improving significantly to where it is today (we’ll be 22 years Christmas Eve). I know how painful it can be and often is. You say it is so hard to just love her, but I would ask is it impossible? You say you know to just love her is what you are supposed to do, I would ask who told you that or how do you know it’s what you’re supposed to do?
The next thing I would say is that I’ve seen a lot that we as men tend to have kind of a different paradigm when it comes to God than our wives or just women in general. I hate to sound cut and dried but I want to keep it brief and say that the simple fact is your relationship is to God first. If you are a man who has a relationship to God, especially before you even met your wife, and you have a right understanding of who God is as the one who gave you life and everything you have or hope to have, and the one who gave you the instruction in the first place, then that is where you will need to start—your foundation. From there you can gain His strength in your feeling of defeat or weakness. I KNOW it is hard, but when it comes to marriage, and many simply are not taught this, this is the calling: our wives are not to be the source of our motivation to do what we are supposed to do—this is why God cursed Adam. My actions toward my wife come from a combination of whatever level of maturity I have as a man and the fact that I have a relationship to and identify with the God who commanded me to love her in the first place, and because I know Him, he would not give me a command that He did not also give me the wherewithal to obey, just like He will not allow me to be tempted above that which I am able to bear and overcome it (this is all 1st Corinthians 10 and the book of 2nd Corinthians, particularly chapter 12). There is growth and strength I gain as I walk in Him. Love is a decision, sometimes a re-decision.
Since I am told to love her as Christ loved the church (or those who would eventually be saved by Him) then that means everything that applies to the nature and character of how Christ applied that love applies to how I do love in my marriage. For instance, Romans 8 says God DEMONSTRATED His love toward us in that WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us. The trouble I find is whenever I get caught up or too focused on whether she is keeping up her end of the bargain or if she is making me “feel like a man”; unfortunately, this is the wrong focus and it takes some work and time get victory over this, it took me the first 10 years of our marriage—including the time I was just being hardheaded.
mewhoami
10/15/2013
I came here from your wife’s page. While reading all the wonderful things that she is teaching the wives, I became curious about what you teach the husbands. Marriage requires work on both sides and is a continual learning process. I look forward to reading your posts.
Spunky
11/18/2013
Thank you soo much for providing this information for the males!! I founded extremaly good the site you did on not been God like but Jesus like..
Could you please send some more information on Habits on males like ; video games ect and when you crossing the line on your marriage or focusing to much on self will..
Aaron-Hintz
11/18/2013
“I have been happily married to the Peacefulwife for almost 18 years, but in the last couple of years our marriage has gone from good to great. I hope to provide some male insight into what it is like to be a respected husband. I hope to be able to explain what a change I have seen in my wife and how our marriage has blossomed.”
Hello. So what do you do? Are you a marriage counselor?
respectedhusband
11/19/2013
Hi Aaron, I am not a marriage counselor and I do not pretend to be one. I blog about aspects of Love and Respect in marriage. I try to look at differences between men and women and how understanding those differences can help us have a better marriage. I also tend to stress the concept of dying to self a lot in the blog as I feel that it is through both partners dying to self daily in their marriage that a marriage can prosper. I don’t post too often due to constraints on time due to work and kids, but my wife posts often looking at the women’s side of things at http://www.peacefulwife.com. I hope you feel welcome here and I appreciated your comments to Ed as well. Thanks.
Clint
01/28/2014
Hi Mr. Cassidy,
For the last three years, since our second was born, my wife has withheld sex from me. Our third baby is now seven months, and I fell like I should say something to her. How do I tell her nicely that this state of affairs is not going to get her that house she wants? I’ve asked her about it, and all I can get is either I’m ‘mean’ or I’m not doing the chores to her specifications. – Clint
peacefulwife
01/29/2014
Clint,
Thanks for your comment. I don’t try to counsel very much and I don’t have all of the answers. My wife suggested that you try to get your wife to read For Women Only or Love and Respect. Most women like to read about relationships and it was reading one of these books that opened my wife’s eyes.
peacefulwife
01/29/2014
Just for clarification, this is the Respected Husband replying. I have both Peacefulwife and my account setup on my phone and didn’t switch back.
biblestudyseattle
12/01/2014
Hi Mr. Cassidy,
When I ready several books about Christian wives, she took that as an indictment against her. I hadn’t even said anything. Just seeing me read those books made her mad. She has a policy it seems of not reading anything I read. I have tried to talk to her, but she feels completely justified. I feel like I need to talk to somebody, but who? I wish she would become one of Laura Doyle’s counselors; then she would have to teach. She seems to want a marriage that looks exactly like her parents’ and not the biblical variety.
Concerned
03/03/2014
do you take prayer request?
Hayley
03/05/2014
Hi,
I wanted to give you a heads up that DatingAdvice.com has named you as one of the year’s “10 Best Blogs for Husbands.” The rankings were published this morning, and we’ll be promoting it on-site and through other social media channels over the coming days.
You can view your write-up here: http://www.datingadvice.com/for-men/10-best-blogs-for-husbands
You have the bragging rights, so feel free to share the news on your blog and with your followers! Let me know if I can be of any help in promoting the news.
Can I send you a badge recognizing that you made the list?
Have a great day,
Hayley
Johnny Mack
03/23/2015
Greg, my wife and I have had dioalogue with you and April in the past. I’m not sure if you remember. April used some of our story in her new book. Anyway, I was wondering if you and I could talk sometime. Shoot me an e-mail if you’re free. We are in that place again where we really need some good Biblical advice.
respectedhusband
03/24/2015
Johnny, we aren’t trained in counseling and we highly recommend using a good bible based counselor. If you have a specific question I might try to give you some advice but I am not a certified counselor and do not pretend to be.