Husbands Should Lead, But Often Follow

Posted on 04/02/2012 by

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What happened to husbands who would be leaders of their families? Today there is a big problem in society with a lack of leadership being displayed by husbands in the home. Some don’t realize that this is a God-given role. Other husbands really don’t know how to lead in their home. Some husbands have simply refused to lead. Many of the marital problems in society are a direct result from husbands failing to lead. A husband’s lack of leadership will have a huge impact on his relationship to his wife, the family’s finances, and their ability to be effective parents. So let’s look at some reasons why men are failing to lead in their homes

Many times a man was not raised with good male leadership at home

Our society has seen so many broken homes that it is becoming increasingly common for a child to be raised with no father figure at all. Many fathers are in jail or have left the home. Many have custody every other weekend at best and have no ability to have influence over their children. The best a lot of kids may have to a father figure may be their grandfather who may wind up raising them.

Another area is that some men devote every part of themselves in work. They are either on the road with business or working overtime constantly. They may be working odd shift work to make ends meet. They may not have time or anything left when they get home to be a leader.

Unfortunately, there are too many examples of just plain poor fathers. They may have had time to be good leaders in their families, but chose to spend that time at the bar, with their friends, or into their own hobbies. There are also those father figures that are verbally abusive, physically abusive, or emotionally abusive to their kids.

A husband’s leadership role is not taught anymore

The idea of teaching a husband’s leadership role of the family in the church or other places is often times looked at as male chauvinism. Teaching on a husband’s leadership is looked at as supporting domination of women, enslaving wives, and supporting abuse. It is clear in reading the Bible that the husband’s role as a leader in the family is well supported and there are many directives that totally eliminate the thought that any of these assertions are biblically tolerated.

We also are bombarded daily with TV programs and commercials that depict fathers and husbands as complete fools. They tout fathers and husbands as worthless and not necessary. If anything, men are pictured as just being in the way.

Many husbands are just lazy and would rather have their wife lead the home

Some husbands just married because that was what they were suppose to do. They share a place to live and share finances, but that is about all of the work that they are willing to put into the marriage. When it comes to the home and the kids, they are more than happy to put that responsibility on their wife and have her handle all of that. They are the man of the house and to them that means being parked in a recliner in front of the TV while their wife runs the house.

Other husbands simply give up trying to lead because their wife takes over control

This is one of the most common problems seen today. There is a large population of men who have taken on the role of being passive husbands. Some of this can be contributed to the culture we are exposed to today preaching equality in everything. Women are now well educated as a whole and encompass a good percentage of the workforce in most professions. They have been taught to lead and take command and have carried this over right into the home. Men, particularly Christian men, have been “equal righted” in so many areas that they have just given up in a lot of areas. They apply for jobs where they are immediately placed at a disadvantage because of their gender or even their race. For them to squeak any dissatisfaction to this plight they are hit with shouts of intolerance. It is no wonder that men are running to the storm shelter and letting their wives tackle the tornado.

Many husbands have wives who have thrown any idea of submission out the window

Is there anything more irritating than to hear a woman complain about her husband? It seems like as a society we have decided that the way to handle our problems with our spouses is to win the war of words by depicting them as a lesser life form at work, on the phone, on Facebook, texting, and email. There are many wives that have gone the route of tears, denial of sex, or constant verbal harassment to take over any leadership in their home. They have made the home a place where their husband cannot lead.

Are these valid excuses for a husband’s lack of leadership in the home?

It is easy to look at these reasons and think that God must have a box to check on some of these that gets a husband out of his responsibility to lead. It is very important to understand that none of these reasons are valid excuses that God would ever accept from a husband. Leadership in the home is a responsibility God ordained for husbands to carry out.

This week we are going to look at some of the ways that we can take up the role of leader in our homes.

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