Focusing on Your Wife’s Beauty

Posted on 03/22/2012 by

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So, we are going to spend some more time talking about our wives’ need to hear us talk about their beauty. Last time, we discussed how you are your wife’s most important mirror. You are the one person that she is trying to look attractive for in the first place and the first one that can ease her mind of all of the outside pressures she is bombarded with all of the time.

Let’s take a look at some ways that we can accomplish the task of beautifying our wife.

Tell Her

The easiest way is to just tell her how beautiful she is. While if your wife said that you are handsome once a year that would probably be enough, your wife needs this little reminder almost daily. Pretty much with anything that I talk about when it comes to showing your wife love, it is pretty safe to use the shampoo directions in all of these circumstances. “Wash….Rinse….Repeat.” So, make sure to say it and say it often.

Another little thing that your wife will really appreciate and will really carry her a long way is using specific, honest compliments. This is much harder than it sounds and I struggle with it, but you will probably never go wrong with just the simple “You look Great!”, “I like your hair that way”, or “That dress looks great on you.” Also, another little tip is that your wife’s insecurities will be strongest in the presence of other attractive people. So, if you are heading out to the rodeo and a square dance breaks out full of attractive boot wearing girls, this would be a great opportunity to remind your wife how beautiful you think she is and thank her for being yours.

Find a never miss compliment that you can have on hand when you might struggle coming up with a great one. My wife has absolutely unbelievably great eyes that can light up a room. They are bright blue and they are one feature that I can count on as a never ending source of compliments for my wife.

Tell Her Sincerely

It is nice to say these words to your wife, but what she really wants to hear is how you feel about her from within. Jeff Feldhahn in For Men Only describes this by saying that “it’s just a matter of learning to say what you’re already sincerely thinking.” What you are really trying to do is understand what areas of your wife’s appearance she may be insecure about and help her understand that you appreciate her despite her own perceived problems.

Tell Her Right Now

Remember again how we talked about you being your wife’s most important mirror. Try putting this into practice. When you are getting ready to go somewhere and your wife has just “spiffy’d” up and put on a “going to town” dress, within 30 seconds of her coming out of her dressing room you need to be the first mirror that she sees and tell her how great she looks. She has put most of her work on her appearance solely for you and if you do not acknowledge that you notice it, she will.

Beware Of Your Response

I know I am very guilty of this one and probably one of the worst offenders. There are words to express your wife’s beauty that work perfectly for us, but do not work for our wife. You should always stay away from descriptive words like “fine”, “good”, and “ok”. Your wife doesn’t want to know if she is acceptable to not wear a bag on her head tonight. What she wants to hear is that you still get excited by her appearance.

Insist On Telling Her

I can see that you are thinking, “I have a hard time thinking to tell her in the first place and now you want me to insist on telling her?” Well, there are times when your wife might try to deny your compliment and say it is not true. Shaunti Feldhahn explains this as “her reluctance is a sign that she needs the affirmation even more.” It is very true to your wife what she perceives as flaws, so it should not be too much of a stretch to believe that she will be a bit reluctant to let her own fears subside to take your compliment. 

The Peacefulwife also reminded me that it is hard for even the most confident women to see themselves as beautiful.  They will always be more aware of any perceived flaws than their attractiveness.  Even the smallest blemish that we would hardly recognize was there will make her feel like she grew another limb in that spot. 

Tell Her About Her Inner Beauty As Well

Your wife will also appreciate that you find her inner beauty attractive. Letting your wife know that you appreciate her loving spirit or gracious attitude can go a long way in helping your wife overcome her insecurities. Find something that you really love about your wife that really radiates from her and tell her often. Chances are good that it will strengthen and you will see it more often or more abundantly.

Understand The Price

One area that husbands often have a problem is understanding the amount of money their wife might spend on clothes, makeup, or other beauty treatments. By now, you have been able to deduce that what your wife is really doing is make sure she is in the center of your vision. What your wife would like is to have as much confidence about her appearance as possible. Your wife probably will not stop using these products because you notice her beauty, so the idea that you might save money in the long run by doing this isn’t a good plan. You probably will not spend any more than you are now, though.

Conclusion

Your ability to lift your wife’s spirit by reflecting a positive image of her appearance can help her feel more confident, secure, and close to you.  When you notice her, she is able to take off a load of the pressures that surround her and just enjoy being with you.  Try it today….and tomorrow….repeat.

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